My New Blog!

Hello friends and family,

This will be my last post on this blog. I have decided to move to a more user friendly and interactive blog site. I hope you will continue to follow us on our journey. Here is the link to my new blog:

http://leephelps.wordpress.com/

Just click on the link above, and you will be directed to my new blog. Feel free to subscribe to this new blog so you can receive email updates when I make a new post! Feel free to comment on anything you would like! Bookmark it if you would like! I will keep this blog open for a while until everyone finds their way to my new blog.

Peace and Love,

Andy

Unwilling Victims vs. Grateful Participants

I am re-reading Donald Miller's book: "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years."

There were so many prophetic things that Miller said that I thought it would be worth my time to re-read the book and journal along with it. It is a book about story. It is a meditation on the elements of story and what it takes to make a story {life} meaningful. Miller argues that "if what we choose to do with our lives won't make a story meaningful (ex. if a biography was written on your life), it won't make a life meaningful either."

On page. 59, Miller writes:

"I've wondered, though, if one of the reasons we fail to acknowledge the brilliance of life is because we don't want the responsibility inherent in the acknowledgement. We don't want to be characters in a story because characters have to move and breathe and face conflict with courage. And if life isn't remarkable, then we don't have to do any of that; we can be unwilling victims rather than grateful participants."

I'm not arguing that being a victim is a matter of choice in all cases. Sadly there are many victims in this world. At many points in our lives we all have been victimized in one way or another. But I am arguing that the posture we take towards life IS a choice. We can live our lives playing the role of a victim, or we can live our lives playing the role of "grateful participants."

The choice is in your perception of life. Is life brilliant, or is it not? If you decide that it is, you have a responsiblity to live differently than most of the rest of the world....even in the face of utter conflict.

One of the key struggles is in choosing to change your thinking. I struggle every day with thoughts that tell me I am not enough...that I am a victim of the evil in this world and the sin that I carry.

But how can I go on like this? The meta-narrative of the universe says that God died on a cross and rose to life to save me from my debilitating sins so that I can be a "grateful participant" in the life and mission of God.

Let us choose to throw off our sinful "woe is me" thought patterns, and join God as participants in His love.

Preparing to move blogs.

I want to let you know.... I am preparing to move to a new blog. I am still in the design stages, but I have been unsatisfied with the Blogger interface. It is very limiting, and only people that have created accounts with Blogger (or an affiliate: Google) can interact with my blog (through making comments). I will be moving to a Wordpress blog, and I will inform you of the web address as soon as I am finished preparing it. With Wordpress, you will be able to more easily leave comments, it will be more user friendly, and I will be able to make it more aesthetically pleasing. I will be posting more media (photo/video) to this blog as well. I also like that you can register your email address to my blog and you will be informed whenever there is a new post. Staying in touch with friends and family in the States is my priority!

Some Pics of My School

Here are a few pictures from my school! The picture of myself is with some of my Korean co-teachers.

2nd week of teaching...

I just finished up my second week of teaching, and though most of the fear that came with the first week is gone, now I am dealing with stress, which is largely due to confusion.

If you are a extreme planner (someone who likes planning weeks and months and years in advance), and you love your weekly planner like it is an extention of your body, then you would probably go crazy trying to live and work in South Korea. I am a planner, but most of my plans are in my head and not written down (so I would consider myself an amature planner). That said, I am going crazy with my inability to plan more than a week or two ahead in Korea. I'm a teacher, and half the time I feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants. Even if I want to plan for my lesson plans, it does no good to plan too far ahead because your schedule WILL get changed.

Life in Korea is determined by the wind. It is a culture of procrastination... and yet things are somehow still accomplished, and life still finds meaning. God has taken me out of a culture where I had much control over my life, and put me into a culture where I have slim to no control over my life. I've already discovered here that if I want to stay sane, I'll have to come to terms with the fact that I've never really had much control at all. The only thing that I do have control over, is how I respond to life.

In John 3:27, John the Baptist is answering a dispute that his disciples are having over Christ. They are jealous that more people are going to Jesus to be baptized than are going to John. John answers them: "No one can receive anything, except what is given them from heaven." He later says in verse 30: "He must increase, but I must decrease."

So in all the confusion of my new life in Korea, here is what I am hearing: "my life is not my own. Everything I am given (whether peace or conflict), is given to me... from heaven. Whether peace or conflict, it is for my transformation. How will I respond? Will I respond by trying to grasp for more control (and thus actually go insane), or will I submit to what God gives me each day? Will I take on John's mantel: "He must increase, but I must decrease."? Will I let go of the control I've never actually had, and trust God to lead my life, one day at a time?"

The Serenity Prayer is a God-send:

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen."

--Reinhold Niebuhr

The only logical conclusion is to trust God. Even though this is the logical conclusion, trusting God requires that I die to myself...to what I think best for me....and this is extremely difficult to do.

This week has been challenging, but good. The challenging part is figuring out my class schedule. I teach each of my aproximately 385 2nd graders once a week. I teach each of my aproximately 520 3rd graders on a sporadic schedule. Sometimes I see them two weeks in a row, and then I won't see them for two weeks. Other 3rd graders I'll see every other week. This makes it extremely difficult to remember who I have taught what. It also makes it hard to keep everyone learning at the same pace.

The good part is that I actually enjoying teaching. My students are fun to teach; my co-teachers are kind and helpful; I'm getting better at teaching with each new week; and I am being transformed. So God is good.

I am re-reading "A Million Miles in A Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. I thought it had some prophetic things to say, so I am re-reading and journaling along with it on my second time around. One of the things Don Miller said after he tells the story of his uncle who died is this:

"The thing about death is it reminds you the story we are telling has finality."

I try to remember this everyday. The question I live with is this: "what story will my life tell? Will it be a meaningful story?" I can't control when I will die, nor much of what will happen to me...but I can choose to respond to each day that is given to me by trying to live for God's mission on earth. His is a mission of love and life with all of humanity. I think that will make my life meaningful.

amen

First Week as Teachers!

March 6 2010

Well, we have finished our first week of teaching at our Korean schools. It was a whirlwind of a week. I feel as though more has happend to us this week than has happened in multiple weeks combined. Highs and lows, busyness and downtime. Schedules set, and schedules changed.... and no one knows for sure. Stress, and excitement. Teachers and students. The biggest thing that I feel has happened this week was the fear that was faced, and by God's grace we pushed forward and didn't back down. In a very real sense we have died to some of our fears and been rebirthed into a new life of service for God.

For some days before my first day of school, I felt as if March 2nd was a day of significant change. March 2nd was the first day of school, and as it approached, I felt as if I was preparing mentally and spiritually for war. I have read some epic stories of war. And on the eve of battle, there is always this heavy sense of reality; of the fragility of life; of the significance of life and love and death that pervades the thoughts and spirits of those who are preparing for battle. In some way, so it was for me. I realized that I was on the eve of facing some of my greatest fears and inadequacies. "Do I have what it takes? Am I adequate? What will happen to me? Will I die?" It seems funny that I think this way sometimes, but is not all fear ultimately based in a deep fear of death itself?

Paradoxically, it is death we must face if we will have life. More specifically, it is fear of death that we must confront. For fear of death is at the root of all sin.

In a book of prayer that I like to use, one of the Psalters says:

"Age after age You proclaimed by the lips of Your holy prophets that You would deliver us and deal mercifully with us, calling to mind Your solemn covenant. This was the promise that You made: to rescue us, and set us free from fear, so that we might worship You with holy worship, in Your holy presence our whole life long."

Christ was sent to rescue us from our fear of death, so that we might face it, and find life. If we do not face our fear of death, we will become the death we are trying to escape.

So now the verse "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" has a new significance.

Thanks to Christ who lives, I was able to face something that I probably would have typically ran from because of my thoughts that said "I am not adequte; I am not good enough." Through Christ, I am enough. "My grace is perfected in your weakness."

What was it like?

I have to confess that half the fear I had was going to my school. I am teaching at Cheonan Buk Middle School. Meeting new people, people that I will work with, and people that have authority over me can be very intimidating, and even more so when they are people of different cultural background and language than my own.

I found out when I arrived at school that I probably wouldn't be teaching the first two days because they were days of orientation for the students. The first day, I arrived at school and took off my shoes (as is cusomary) and put on my school slippers. I was greeted by a teacher who showed me into the main teacher's office. It is a large room with probably around 50 teacher's desks. I was shown to my desk, and shortly after I was introduced to my principal and vice-principal. My principal is a female (which for some reason intimidates me more than having a male principal). They both were very nice and welcoming. Shortly after, I had to come to the front of the teacher's office with the other new teachers, and give a short speech to introduce myself. Talk about the stress of first impressions! A couple hours later, they had the student body lined up military style outside in the school yard and all we new teachers had to bow to the students to introduce ourselves! It doesn't matter how long a foreigner lives in Korea, Korean say we always look awkward bowing. Haha. The first day I got to know my head teacher Mr. Yu, and my supervisor Mrs. Jeon. I also met some other of my co-teahcers, and they were all very nice.

In Korean culture however, it is unusual for anything to be planned and set in stone prior to a scheduled date. So my teachers told me that they didn't yet know my schedule for classes I'd be teaching, but that they should know in a couple weeks! This only added to my stress levels! How am I supposed to prepare my lesson plans? Later in the day they told me that I would be teaching the 1st and 2nd graders (same as 6th and 7th in the States). So they gave me my textbooks, and I prepared my lesson plans for my first classes. Lunch came, and so I went with the teachers to the lunch room and had my first Korean school lunch. It consisted of kimchi, seaweed soup, fish, rice, and some vegetable medley. It was actually really good as my palate is becoming adjusted to eating the earthy and spicey Korean diet.

My second day I also did not teach. I stayed at my desk most of the day working on my lesson plans. Not much happend this day. I did meet some more of my Korean co-teachers, and I have to say that they are so hospitable. One of the aspects that I love about Korean cultue is that the virtues of humility and respect are highly valued. People tend to repect and value each other, not seeking to show off or put others after themselves.

The third day came and I was prepared to meet and teach 1st and 2nd graders. I was going to be teaching first period. Upon my arrival as I was getting ready to go to my first class, one of my co-teachers said: "sorry, schedual has changed. You won't be teaching 1st graders anymore. Now you will only teach 2nd and 3rd graders! Ahhhh! I've learned that if I'm going to survive in Korea, I'm just going to have to learn to go with the flow. You just never know day to day, what is going to happen. And because status is so important in Korean society, you are just supposed to accept what is passed down to you from your superior. So I threw out my 1st grade lesson plan, and started on my 3rd grade lesson plan.

The other part of my fear was meeting and teaching the students. Every student is put into a class with about 35 students. This set of 35 students are their classmates for the year. As a teacher, I see each class once a week, and I teach up to 22 classes a week. That means that I have around 770 students! It is nearly impossible to learn all of their names and adequately give them the attention they need.

But I went to my classes on the first day of classes, and I faced the fear that has long crippled me. And God by His grace sustained me, and I even found that I was energized by being with the students. Which is interesting for me as an introvert. Typically, I am drained by being around people, and I need alone time to re-energize. But this week, I found the opposite to be true. I was being energized by the students!

I even found that I was having fun! Some of the student's English ability is less than others, and sometimes it was like pulling teeth to get them to talk in English (because they fear being embarassed, or by embarrasing their friends if they know a lot!). Fortunately pulling out candy, and playing games that go along with their textbooks really gets them excited and more willing to talk! My last class of the week was the most purposeful that I've felt at a job in a long time. I felt like I was connecting, and making some meaningful difference. In every classroom, there is always at least two curriculums going on. The actual subject of discussion, and the other unstated one. This one is often more important and more loudly heard. Is is the unsaid curriculum that either expresses to the students that you care about them, or that you don't. It is a curriculum that is based in the opportunity to mentor, or to forsake a fellow human being who is looking for guidance.

That last class of the week, I felt like I realized how important this unsaid curriculum was, and it was like tapping into a purpose for my life that I think may be my vocation.

Jill and I are praying that God will help us to love not just the students that are easy to love, but even the ones that are obnoxious. It has been so exciting to meet the students. Being a foreigner, we feel like celebrities in our schools. The students are so excited to see us and they swarm us and smile and say "you so handsome", or to Jill "you so beautful." Over and over again they swarm us in the halls.

On Friday I can't remember how many cell phone pictures I had to take with some of the students. It was a blast! Pray that my head doesn't get too big!

I feel that even in this first week of school, Jill and I have been stretched and pushed, and pulled, and frustrated, and stressed; but we have also grown, and I hope we are being transformed into better human beings.

Thank you for all your prayers! Know you are in ours!

amen.

Busy but fun weekend...first day of class: March 2nd

"On March 1, 1919 the Korean

people rose against Japanese colonial rule, which had existed in Korea since the annexation of 1910. The holiday remembers the non-violent, peaceful independence demonstrations which began on that day. The demonstrations went on around the country for another three months, with

approximately two million people participating."

The Japanese held a ruthless rule over Korea, attempting to stamp out all Korean culture. Korean language, names, food, and many other things Korean were forbidden. I think it a beautiful and amazing thing that the Korean's non-violent resistance earned them back their independence.

So this weekend we had a three

day weekend because of Independence Day. It was a busy, but fun weekend. Friday night we celebrated one of the English teacher's birthdays at a Noraebong (Karaoke bar). Saturday, some of us went into Seoul to do some school shopping. Sunday we went to our new church, and relaxed, and Monday Jill and I and our new friend Ben went to Costco! Whew!

At the Noraebong, there were around 12 of us packed into this small room with a disco ball, big screen TV and great surround sound. Most of us got our turn to sing our hearts out. My personal song was "Boom Boom Pow" by The Black Eyed Peas. I especially like attempting to hit Fergie's high notes.

Seoul was awesome! I finally experienced a little bit of life in one of the most densely populated cities in the world. We were shopping for dress clothes for school, so we stayed in one of the shopping districts. There were so many people that I was almost always touching or running into someone. H&M had a grand opening while we were there. Ribbon cutting, fashion celebrities, and the red carpets were all rolled out. I wasn't even going to attempt to wait in the line to get in. My favorite part of Seoul was the people watching. I can't wait to go back and do some more site seeing.

Being used to a Western diet, Jill and I have struggled to find food at the grocery store that we can make meals out of. So we took our BIGGEST suitcase and went on a 45 minute train to Costco and stocked up on food we are used to.

It's been a great weekend, but now tomorrow is the day we've been waiting for since we arrived in Korea. We start teaching on March 2nd, the b

eginning of the school year for Korean students. Jill and I are both really excited and anxious because we aren't completely sure what to expect. But the adventure of it is more motivating than the fear that makes us not want to do it. I can't wait to get to know my Korean students, and build relationships with my Korean co-teachers!

Please pray for us this week as we start our new jobs! I've posted a few pics from Seoul. I have a bunch more on Facebook!